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One2Swing Daily
Thursday, March 25, 2004

Increasing Your "HOT"ness!
I just recently came across the Heckzapoppin Discussion Board for the Raleigh NC Lindy Hoppers.

Definitely a nice bunch of folks down there.

That being said, it just happens that they're having quite the interesting discussion on their board regarding The Hot or Not Website. The results? A lot of the Raleigh leads posting their pictures on and seeing who can get the highest score.

And that's when I realized a few things about myself.

I look like I'd be a somewhat average guy (well, above average, say 7 but because I'm humble enough to rate myself as a 7 that really means I'm an 8). So that begs the question: Considering I was able to snag Sheri, my 10-of-a-wife, I'd say that makes me in actuality a 10.

So how did I turn out to be so hot?

Especially considering how I looked when Sheri first met me ... hoooo boy.

When Sheri and I first met, I was ...well, not the good looking handsome guy I am today. Back then: Mohawk Ponytail. Earrings. Colored Hair. Baggy Clothes. False Tooth. We won't even talk about what Sheri's family first thought of me. But yet Sheri still liked me and enjoyed going out dancing with me. And I would often tease her saying, "See? That's how good a dancer I was... you would still dance with me despite all the grunginess."

And that's when it dawned on me...

It's the swing dancing!!! Swing dancing makes people hot!!! Not just the "I go through five shirts a night because I sweat like a sprinkler" kind of hot, but that snazzy sexy "HOT"!

Thus the swing dancing theorem: no matter what your "normal" ranking is, if you swing dance, add one to two points! A 7-looking woman immediately becomes an 8 (9 if she has mean swivels)! And for guys I think you have to add two to three points since we're a rarity... (meaning the number of really good guy dancers is lower than the number of really good gal dancers).

If you look at it that way, it makes sense. Sheri is already a 10... so adding a point or two to her ranking still makes her a 10 (no cheating going above 10, okay Mr. Nigel? Strict scale of 1 to 10). And myself as a 7 (really an 8), through swing dancing I was able to raise myself to achieve a 9 or 10 score and thus successfully land that 10 of a wife!

Simple. Makes perfect sense.

Now go dance!

P.S. I've heard from certain follows that doing the pretzel immediately drops you four points... so watch out!

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